There was a moment…

before time, before thought, before breath …

when all was still. Consciousness simply was. Whole. Infinite. Without name or form.

And then… the First Movement.

Not a fall. Not a mistake. A question. A desire. A pull.

“What am I?”

🌀

In that single pulse, Consciousness fragmented itself, not out of sin, but out of sacred curiosity. In that fracturing, we were born. Rays. Sparks. Fragments.

Shadows.

All pieces of the Infinite, cast outward into form, into time, into duality.

And ever since, we have carried the ache of that separation.

This is what you feel when you stare at the ceiling and wonder what’s missing. It’s the silence behind the noise. The strange emptiness that even love cannot always fill. The void within us. The longing you carry isn’t because something went wrong in your life … it’s because your soul remembers what it felt like to be whole.

…and that is everything!

If you’ve felt this longing within… It is memory awakening.

The Spiral is the Return

Linear time cannot take you home. Ascension is not a ladder. The journey back to Source is not a straight shot through light.

It’s a spiral.

You move through layers, again and again, revisiting what you thought was healed, meeting yourself in new ways. Each turn brings you closer to the center. Not because you failed last time, but because healing is not about escape … it’s about integration.

The Spiral of God is not something outside you. It is you. You are its movement. You are its questioning, its stretching, its longing for reunion. Your very life is a strand in that spiral.

You think the pain is yours alone.
But it is the ache of the Infinite, coursing through you.

You are not just doing your shadow work…
You are helping Consciousness/Divinity/Source/God/The Infinite remember Itself.

The Addiction to Healing

At some point along the spiral, you may become enamored with the work itself. With fixing. With purging. With healing as identity. It’s seductive really, the illusion that if you just go deep enough, you’ll finally be whole.

But here’s the paradox: You already are.🌀

The healing you seek is not about removing what’s “wrong” with you. It’s about making peace with the fragmentation. Holding it. Loving it. Not resisting it.

“Desire nothing. Chafe not at karma. Be not a soldier of fortune.”

These aren’t passive instructions. They are the highest kind of liberation. You are not meant to wage war on your shadow. You’re meant to witness it, let it show you the original rupture, that first break, that first longing, and in that, you will remember:

You were never broken.
You were simply cast into form.

It’s okay to stop chasing the fix. To stop aligning yourself to the chaos, destruction, and suffering. To stop making healing your identity. The void you feel isn’t there because something is wrong… it’s the sacred space where stillness lives. Where God still whispers in the silence.

The Frequency of the Void

There is a place beneath all striving. Beneath all effort and trauma cycles. A silence. A spaciousness.

It’s not a place you have to earn.
It’s not the reward for spiritual perfection.

It is here. Always. A frequency. A state of God-awareness that asks nothing but your surrender. Not your submission, but simply your presence.

In this space, you don’t have to manifest or atone for any “sin”. You just are. And from here, creation moves through you naturally. Coding. Re-patterning. Remembering.

Not by force, but by frequency.

You heal, not because you fix yourself.
You heal, because you return to the stillness where nothing needs fixing.

For Those on the Path

You feel this because you were called to feel it. To walk it. To remember for the whole. You are not just on your own spiritual journey… you are embodying the healing of the Cosmic Self.

You are the eyes of God looking back at its own wound.
You are the hands of God reaching toward integration.
You are the ache of God, longing for reunion.

So, if you feel tired, or lost, or numb… good. That means you’re near the spiral’s center. Nearing the stillness. The place where you stop performing awakening and simply awaken.

Not to some better version of you, but to what you’ve always been: 🌀

A spark of the Infinite.
A fragment of God.
A beautiful, aching shadow
Longing to return home.