About

July 1999, just before a rue-n-y gastric bypass, I weighed in at 490 pounds. Yes, you read that right.  Four hundred ninety pounds.  I was a victim, you see.  Of my parents, life, my husbands, (was on my 3^rd at that time), of everything and everyone.  EVERYONE, that is, except for me…  I now KNOW I was running.  Running from myself.  My soul and it’s purpose.  Running from self responsibility.  Running from my own sovereignty.

In 2009, I was still running… Only now, my bones were becoming brittle, I was shrinking and a “motorized wheelchair” was the next step in my “trajectory” according to my “medical team”.  By this time, my Mother, who had been ill and struggling with all manner of her own “issues”, was now at the point that my siblings and I had been summoned to visit in FL to say goodbye etc.  It was during this time, my little brother shared the movie Zeitgeist.  My slow awakening to it ALL began in earnest with that movie.  First the geo-political corruption, which eventually led to the food and medical industry corruption and finally my taking my health back in to my own hands.  I am STILL on THAT journey.  Now I tend to look at my life as a Quest, of sorts.  A Quest to save the princess, (me), so to speak.  To seek out new magical realms.  Realms that exist RIGHT HERE under my nose both within me and right here in my  “own backyard”.

I describe myself as a “Puzzle Piece Collector”.  I have been referred to as an autodidact.  The first time I was called, this I had to go look it up!  From dictionary.com;

Autodidact [ aw-toh-dahy-dakt, -dahy-dakt ]

noun

1. a person who has learned a subject without the benefit of a teacher or formal education; a self-taught person.

I feel like it fits… I am now aware that I CAN teach myself. (Realized I have ALWAYS done so, to one degree or another.)  Since now I KNOW that nothing here is EXACTLY as it seems, I am learning how to trust myself and allow the Larger Me, to instruct the little me, all with the approval of the LARGEST ME… my I AM presence. (Don’t get it twisted… this is a journey and I am still very much in the trial and error phase of my development.)

I am most interested in the deepest existential questions at this point in my life.  Exactly who am I?  What EXACTLY are WE?  What IS actually going on, on this planet?  I have lots of observational suspicions, however, that is all they are, suspicions, feelings etc… 

I truly have sought to educate myself in subjects that I found interesting/found myself drawn to.  Part of the reason I call myself a “puzzle piece collector, is that I discovered that I have a remarkable ability to hold disparate puzzle pieces in my field, sometimes for YEARS until another “piece” comes along to make that disparate piece make sense and vice verse.  Visualized sometimes as a 5D or more puzzle, disparate pieces that FEEL important, appear on the sides of the puzzle waiting, when along comes a piece that allows several of those disparate pieces to fall into place and reveal a much larger deeper more intriguing puzzle!

So…during the 2014, Solar/Lunar New Year, at the New moon in Aries, I stood in my back yard, and set my intention to become a part of or establish “a conscious community”.  By 2016 I still had not found my tribe locally, (those I attempted to draw into these sorts of conversations simply were not interested and/or looked at me like I had lost my mind), and I soooo desired Conscious Conversation!  I finally found some folks online and soon found myself facilitating a Zoom Chat group dubbed The Campfire Chat following an online “show” where we gathered to chat at first about the show’s topic.

Eventually that morphed into what I was really beginning to become more interested in… healing!  A Sacred Healing Space was born albeit a bit short lived.  The kind of deep healing work I was looking for involved being real, raw and honest with myself and that makes most folks a bit uncomfortable and sqeemish.  At that time, a lot of folks were keen to NOT be triggered, they appeared to run away at the first sign of becoming triggered, due to the prevailing idea that it was the trigger-er to be avoided, rather than to see WHY the trigger-ee became triggered in the first place.  I came to see/feel my being triggered as a GOOD and desireable state… I personally cannot address things I cannot see/sense/feel.  You see, through a series of awakenings and heavy inner shadow work, I have come to know that I carry some pretty interesting aspects of character;  AA Gabriel, Lilith, Kali, The Morrigan.  All of which, (these aspects/frequencies), carry the energy of sovereignty, which means self responsibility, self reliability, and self accountability.  ALL carrying the essence of transparency in order to SEE SELF.

Today, (Sept 2023), at almost 62, I feel my Quest of Self Discovery, to be the most important and oh so rewarding of  my paths to date!  Getting to know me, who I truly am, how and why I do some of the things I do, seeing ALL OF ME from angles I NEVER even thought to look!  Highly recommend!  THAT is my why… Little me, learning to “become Me, OUT LOUD… sharing my experiences… engaging in CREATIVE JOY in all new and totally unexpected ways… practicing Conscious Conversation WITHIN, with Myself and actively listening to ALL of Creation, most especially my Inner Guidance, my Teacher Within, (ME, my I AM Presence)… in every moment that presents itself.

I have long felt that all things “esoteric/exoteric”, those things which most of humanity have relegated to the status of either “woo-woo”, B.S., make believe or straight up devil worship stuff, was more important than many would have one believe… it actually is EVERYTHING when one is on a Quest of Self Discovery!  I hope that you will find something here that draws you deeper into you, or initiates your curiousity about your self, your path, your journey… perhaps you will begin YOUR Puzzle Piece Collection Quest.  Let me know if you feel that I may assist you in some way or if you would like to participate in a Conscious Conversaton.  Email all inquiries to consciousconversationcentral@gmail.com

Calling

This is a clarion call for all beings willing to dive into themselves and the world around us. If you would like to play in the realm of Conscious Conversations, I invite you to reach out.